Bless Your Spouse

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We are in the 40 Days of Teshuva, which is a time to turn, repent, and make adjustments. One of the biggest areas to make adjustments in is our marriages. Our goal is to be a blessing to our spouse. Down below are 8 ways to do this. With all of these there are two big keys... What you do and HOW you do it. The goal is to do these cheerfully because God loves a cheerful giver. In today's video there is a communion meditation asking for God's help to grow in these 8 things. If you are not married these same 8 things can be applied to any relationship. 

1. Be more present: It is possible to be right next to someone but be in two different worlds. Increased presence is important for all relationships. Being present also means letting go of ways others have wronged you in the past. 
2. Catch their bids + give bids: One of the best predictors of marriage success is catching bids. A bid is anytime your spouse attempts to connect. Maybe they try to give you hug/kiss, start a conversation, ask to do something together, etc. The best marriages catch 80-90% of all bids, which means you must stop whatever you are doing and connect. It is dishonoring to not catch their attempts to connect with you. It is also important to offer bids to your spouse in the way they like to connect. We all try to connect in the style we like, but your spouse probably has a different love language. What kind of connection makes your spouse feel cherished and honored? 
3. Look ahead at their day: Step into their shoes in your mind and imagine what their day is like. Then as you see areas where you could be a blessing and solve problems for them take action. For example, you could clean the house before they get home or pack them some food for a busy day/trip. 
4. Encourage + praise: It can be easy to fall into the trap of seeing everything they do wrong, but make it a goal each day to praise and encourage them. In relationships you can either be a fountain that is giving life or a drain that is sucking the life out of them. Make it a goal to consistently praise and encourage your spouse. 
5. Value their contributions: We all overestimate our own contributions and underestimate the contributions of others. Be grateful for their contributions and appreciate the things they do, even if you feel you do more. They probably contribute in a different way than you. 
6. Change your expectations: This is a hard one. What if you functioned like you had zero expectations from your spouse and any bids they throw your way, encouragement they give, or contributions they make are just extra. Often in relationships we get frustrated because others don't live up to our expectations. Our goal is to be a blessing and not be needy. Expect nothing and be grateful for whatever good they do. This is a way to eliminate the frustration in relationships. 
7. How would you like to be married to you? Ask yourself this question and whatever negatives you come up with, ask God for his help turning them around. 
8. Say you are sorry: Sometime disagreements arise. Make it a goal to humble yourself and restore peace in the relationship even if you feel like it wasn't your fault. 

I am praying for you. 

Daniel

P.S. Our goal in the Abundant Life Blueprint is to make each other great. If you would like to partner with us and become part of our community you can learn more here.